22 May 2013
Tags: fried chicken, sergio garcia, tiger woods
If you are not a golf geek like myself, you probably don’t have a clue to who Sergio Garcia is. However, Tiger Woods probably rings a bell. Sergio made the typical “Fried Chicken” joke, and now every one has their plad pants in a knot. Here is the conversation on a thread located at the Golf Channel’s web-site. I made the point that if a black guy makes a joke directed at another black dude, all is well. Hell, Black dude can make a joke directed at a white dude, and all is well. But let white guy poke fun at black,brown,yellow, gree, or blue guy, and it is RACIST! Here are some comments and a link.
John Heaton•37 minutes ago−
Nothing more than a bad joke. Golf writers need material. Let Chris Rock make the same type of comment, and the same folks who are ripping Sergio, would be laughing their rears off. Sergio should have made a “porn-star” joke, would have had a better shot at being funny.
because it’s different when a white person does it against a black person.
No, it’s not. Racist language is racist language, regardless of “which” group uses it against the other.
it does matter, because one is entitled to make fun of themselves, but not make fun of others.
this was not racist language, it was a racist remark. that’s why people are tripping up over the “fried chicken” comment, because that in of itself is not racist. it was the context under which he made it.
“entitiled”? That says it all right there.
John Heaton> o
Really? Sounds like a double standard is in place
14 May 2013
in big government, Christian, comedy, conservative, dogs, funny, golf, guns, Jesus, John David Heaton III, jokes, puppies
Tags: big-brother, conservative-politics, corruption, education, entertainment, film flam, free-speech, united-states, vacation, washington
I was going to rage against the criminals we have in Washington, and around the country who give us laws to follow, yet make themselves exempt. Then I said, “What the heck!” Why let a bunch of murderers and film flam artist ruin my life?
It is time to keep life simple and fun. Being a God believing man, I know how the whole story shakes out. This world takes a dive into the crapper, and just as it is about to implode our Lord and Saviour steps in and returns this Earth to the Eden God intended it to be. In the mean time, I got some things to do this summer. Bowling! yes, once again I am bowling two summer leagues. My Tuesday league is pretty amazing. Probably due to the simple fact that the average age of almost all of the bowlers is 112. Not really, but there are many who are the back side of 70. Which is awesome, because many of them are good. I guess it is no wonder why I like golf and bowling, other than the simp[le facts that I am not to shabby at either one, and I can participate for most of my life span.
Also got to get some fishing in this summer. I am going to join a small fishing club that my dad belonged to when he was alive. I will have to give it a once over. River banks tend to attract elements of our society that stink more than my favorite catfish bait. If all goes well though, I picture quite a few days if fishing with my two pups; BillWilly and B.W.. I have to get my money out of them, seeing I spent my retirement savings when they became ill this past year.
I also need to work on some road trips. Still want to get back to Laughlin Nevada for some golf and fishing on the Colorado River. I also want to try my hand at gold panning too.
Guess all in all I don’t have time to worry about junk I have no control over, though I sure I will from time to time. It is just nice to know, that whatever the heck is going on around me, I still will be enjoying myself.
01 May 2013
in Christian, coaching, golf, John David Heaton III
Here are just a few pictures, I will post more. This is Green Horn Golf Course in Arnold CA.
19 Apr 2013
in Christian, coaching, comedy, conservative, country music, dogs, food, funny, golf, guns, Jesus, John David Heaton III, music, puppies, second amendment
Tags: education, entertainment, fernly nevada, fishing hole, food, free-speech, grapefruit tree, hillbilly, lawn chairs, restaurants, you-cant-make-this-stuff-up
Puppy bellies, beers, beef jerky, no shoes, loud farts, lawn chairs with beer holders, country music playing from a cheap boom box, no shoes, more beer, dogs playing, the smell of lighter fluid on the briquettes, toes in the grass, more beer, peeing on the fence, peeing on the orange tree, more beer, adding enough lighter fluid to the Q to make a mushroom cloud, change Hank jr cd to Hank sr cd, more beer, pee on grapefruit tree, clean the grill over the fire with lighter fluid, pee on the fence again, wash hands and get the meat on the grill, start counting beers that are left, flip meat, more beer, chase dogs from the grill, take shirt off and replace with favorite sleeves shirt that says” Will Work For Beer”, take meat off the grill and into the house, more beer will eat later, scratch puppy bellies, scratch my belly, hike up britches and pee on fence, change cd to Elvis Live at Las Vegas, more beer cause the party is just starting…it is only 7pm!
OK, you get the idea. Lately, I have been looking online at cities that I could move to if they meet the Hillbilly’s standards. Fernly Nevada is looking pretty good. http://www.cityoffernley.org/ I know they have a tavern with karaoke, I need a golf course, bowling alley, and fishing hole.
12 Apr 2013
in Christian, coaching, comedy, conservative, country music, dogs, food, golf, guns, Jesus, John David Heaton III, jokes, music, satire
Tags: beer golf, education, entertainment, foamie, food, free-speech, good ol days, Health, hillbilly, morning coffee, office fridge, playboy magazine, sports
Yup, lets hear it for beer! I have been grinding all week. Three golf matches in extremely windy conditions…..well that ain’t the issue, try three golf matches where I was unable to drink beer afterwards due to the fact the school district does not allow coaches to drink and transport players! Give me the good ol’ days when I was in high school and my building construction teacher kept a twelve pack of Mille High Life bottles in his office fridge. I remember him sending to fetch him an ice pack, and he warned me not to touch his beer. While I did not touch em’, I did stand and stare at em’ like I had found a Playboy magazine. And my history teacher who kept a warm up bottle of bourbon for his morning coffee. Yes, the good old days.
Anyways, I am down to thirty-one working days, which means after today, I am down to six Fridays. Once vacation hits, everyday becomes foamie, and every hour is happy, and this Hillbilly is reminded why he graduated college: To weasel into a job that affords me my chosen lifestyle: Don’t work hard,and make just enough money to drink beer, golf, fish, hit the gym, bbq, and feed the dogs. This is also why God keeps me poor: He knows how dangerous a rich, non-working Hillbilly can be. Charlie Sheem is Charlie Brown compared to me:)
09 Apr 2013
in comedy, food, funny, golf, John David Heaton III
Tags: music, tuesday
OOPs, too busy for a Tuesday post, so here is my salute to Tuesday!
27 Mar 2013
in Christian, coaching, comedy, conservative, conservative host, food, golf, John David Heaton III, jokes, satire
Tags: beer, big-brother, current-events, education, entertainment, free-speech, nature, s f bay, san joaquin valley, small planes
Freshly back from a day of high school league golf, and I am ready for another round. At least today’s match will be in a very quiet, secluded venue. Yesterday’s match was a great time, but sadly, the course is bordered by a small plane airport, and a major freeway.
So much for hearing the birds chirp and the leaves rustle gently in the breeze. Nope, small planes, mostly props, taking off for the S.F. bay area every thirty to sixty seconds. It sounds like a fleet of flying lawn mowers taking off. As for the freeway? The main artery from the San Joaquin Valley to San Fransisco and the bay area is the northern border of the course! The only description I can think of is think of the freeway as a pile of poop and sugar, and the cars, and trucks are ants and cockroaches who have tapeworms! They never stop moving.
Now that I think about, the intrusion into our daily, and personal lives by the federal government is much the same. We are the fairways, and the Fed is the ever-present, noisy runway/freeway and those darn bugs are represent politicians/laws that plague us Americans that just want to be left alone on our fairways to play golf. No matter how good or bad we are at the game/life.
Yeah, but what do I know, my claim to fame is being able to eat multiple Habaneros and swig gallons of beer on a Monday morning:)
Sorry for the slight injection of politics, but it has been quite awhile since I went American Terrorist!
15 Mar 2013
in Christian, comedy, golf, Jesus, John David Heaton III, jokes
Tags: clothing, entertainment, fellow golfers, free-speech, hillbilly, John David Heaton III, religion, sports, style
I just have to share a couple of classic, and hilarious things I have witnessed in the past few days. Thankfully, none of them are involve me, beer, and mud. So here they are:
Meth Head Broad riding a multiple speed bike, in first gear peddling a hundred miles wearing sweat pants, tank top, and no shoes. Oh, and she was riding down an overpass, so top speed was about 30 mph. In tweaker miles, it was a 108 mph!
Yellow hat, bright orange shirt, shorts, and shoes. This is what a guy was wearing yesterday on the driving range at the golf course. A couple of thoughts here: Gramps realizes he is of the age he can wear, and do anything he pleases. Two: He is in the California Department of Transportation Hall of Fame. ( These workers wear bright orange uniforms for those of you who are not living in Cali.) Three; he has been so emasculated that his wife now dresses him from head to toe. Thing is, Neon Gramps could pound whitey pretty good. He has a decent swing, so us fellow golfers won’t give him the business about his duds, just give him grief over the fact his wife does not allow him to wear his testicles anymore.
28 Feb 2013
in Christian, coaching, comedy, golf, John David Heaton III
Tags: entertainment, religion, sports, vacation, you-cant-make-this-stuff-up
Ever have one of those days when you feel like blogging, but nothing jumps out of your dome and onto the screen? Today is that day for me. I really got nothin’ due to the simple fact I am still staying away from anything political. Don’t worry, I still have crazy amounts of farm stories from my earlier days as little Hillbilly, but I am not digging into it like a tick on a hounds ear!
Maybe it has something to do with the sunny 70 degree weather today, or the fact I am heading out to golf practice in a few short minutes.
21 Feb 2013
in Christian, coaching, comedy, conservative, funny, golf, John David Heaton III
Tags: baseball, current-events, education, entertainment, fence post, free-speech, religion, sports, tennis, usa, vacation
I have heard this response for almost all of my six season of coaching golf. Every season I get golfers who have never picked up a club, so after I show them how to grip the thing, I asked them to swing it like they are hitting a pitched baseball. The title of this thread is almost always the response I get! I am talking never. If I was able to transport myself back to the 1950′s,60′s, 70′s, 80′s, and even as recent as the 90′s, I doubt I would hear this as much as I do. So what the hell happened?
In my un-humble opinion, I am going with video games and the internet as the culprits. As for video games? I have played them since Pong first came onto the scene. Played them through college, and even to this day, I play Tiger Woods’s golf on the Play Station. Thing is, it does not take the place of my physical activities. I had one player a few years back actually tell me he worked on his golf game all weekend long. I was thinking he spent hours at the driving range grinding away. Nope, he told me he played Wii golf! As for the Inter-Net? It is as addictive as any drug and it is virtually free. Kids, as well as adults, are able to create a universe where they are god. Almost any behavior is acceptable, and there is virtually no accountability for any actions. Like being a kid sans parents. So why would kids want to leave their insulated domain and venture into the real world of physical activity?
Don’t know if I have an answer to this. I know when I was a kid I would take a hand full of golf balls and hit them from the back yard to the furthest fence post fo our three acre farm. I would walk to them with my dog Mandy, and hit them back. I would repeat this for hours, five to seven days a week during the summer. I would also spend hours a day bouncing a tennis ball off of the water-pump house to sharpen my defensive skills for baseball.
I guess for a kid who has never swung a bat, the answer is “Well it is about time you tried it.” Of course, with me, they are swinging a golf club. I guess they gotta put down the controller, or mouse and start