12 Apr 2013
in Christian, coaching, comedy, conservative, country music, dogs, food, golf, guns, Jesus, John David Heaton III, jokes, music, satire
Tags: beer golf, education, entertainment, foamie, food, free-speech, good ol days, Health, hillbilly, morning coffee, office fridge, playboy magazine, sports
Yup, lets hear it for beer! I have been grinding all week. Three golf matches in extremely windy conditions…..well that ain’t the issue, try three golf matches where I was unable to drink beer afterwards due to the fact the school district does not allow coaches to drink and transport players! Give me the good ol’ days when I was in high school and my building construction teacher kept a twelve pack of Mille High Life bottles in his office fridge. I remember him sending to fetch him an ice pack, and he warned me not to touch his beer. While I did not touch em’, I did stand and stare at em’ like I had found a Playboy magazine. And my history teacher who kept a warm up bottle of bourbon for his morning coffee. Yes, the good old days.
Anyways, I am down to thirty-one working days, which means after today, I am down to six Fridays. Once vacation hits, everyday becomes foamie, and every hour is happy, and this Hillbilly is reminded why he graduated college: To weasel into a job that affords me my chosen lifestyle: Don’t work hard,and make just enough money to drink beer, golf, fish, hit the gym, bbq, and feed the dogs. This is also why God keeps me poor: He knows how dangerous a rich, non-working Hillbilly can be. Charlie Sheem is Charlie Brown compared to me:)
15 Mar 2013
in Christian, comedy, golf, Jesus, John David Heaton III, jokes
Tags: clothing, entertainment, fellow golfers, free-speech, hillbilly, John David Heaton III, religion, sports, style
I just have to share a couple of classic, and hilarious things I have witnessed in the past few days. Thankfully, none of them are involve me, beer, and mud. So here they are:
Meth Head Broad riding a multiple speed bike, in first gear peddling a hundred miles wearing sweat pants, tank top, and no shoes. Oh, and she was riding down an overpass, so top speed was about 30 mph. In tweaker miles, it was a 108 mph!
Yellow hat, bright orange shirt, shorts, and shoes. This is what a guy was wearing yesterday on the driving range at the golf course. A couple of thoughts here: Gramps realizes he is of the age he can wear, and do anything he pleases. Two: He is in the California Department of Transportation Hall of Fame. ( These workers wear bright orange uniforms for those of you who are not living in Cali.) Three; he has been so emasculated that his wife now dresses him from head to toe. Thing is, Neon Gramps could pound whitey pretty good. He has a decent swing, so us fellow golfers won’t give him the business about his duds, just give him grief over the fact his wife does not allow him to wear his testicles anymore.
28 Feb 2013
in Christian, coaching, comedy, golf, John David Heaton III
Tags: entertainment, religion, sports, vacation, you-cant-make-this-stuff-up
Ever have one of those days when you feel like blogging, but nothing jumps out of your dome and onto the screen? Today is that day for me. I really got nothin’ due to the simple fact I am still staying away from anything political. Don’t worry, I still have crazy amounts of farm stories from my earlier days as little Hillbilly, but I am not digging into it like a tick on a hounds ear!
Maybe it has something to do with the sunny 70 degree weather today, or the fact I am heading out to golf practice in a few short minutes.
25 Feb 2013
in Christian, coaching, comedy, John David Heaton III
Tags: free-speech, hillbilly, sports, you-cant-make-this-stuff-up
Not much to see here, just move along and await the arrival of Tedious Tuesday. Then Woeful Wednesday can hang around for a 24 hour stay. But alas, Thunderous Thursday will come to save the work week, which is sadly, a full 5 days for the nest few weeks. Then, my most beloved Foamie Friday uplifts its very lovely head and makes all things right once again in the Hillbilly’s universe.
Bottom line, 5 day work weeks blow!
21 Feb 2013
in Christian, coaching, comedy, conservative, funny, golf, John David Heaton III
Tags: baseball, current-events, education, entertainment, fence post, free-speech, religion, sports, tennis, usa, vacation
I have heard this response for almost all of my six season of coaching golf. Every season I get golfers who have never picked up a club, so after I show them how to grip the thing, I asked them to swing it like they are hitting a pitched baseball. The title of this thread is almost always the response I get! I am talking never. If I was able to transport myself back to the 1950′s,60′s, 70′s, 80′s, and even as recent as the 90′s, I doubt I would hear this as much as I do. So what the hell happened?
In my un-humble opinion, I am going with video games and the internet as the culprits. As for video games? I have played them since Pong first came onto the scene. Played them through college, and even to this day, I play Tiger Woods’s golf on the Play Station. Thing is, it does not take the place of my physical activities. I had one player a few years back actually tell me he worked on his golf game all weekend long. I was thinking he spent hours at the driving range grinding away. Nope, he told me he played Wii golf! As for the Inter-Net? It is as addictive as any drug and it is virtually free. Kids, as well as adults, are able to create a universe where they are god. Almost any behavior is acceptable, and there is virtually no accountability for any actions. Like being a kid sans parents. So why would kids want to leave their insulated domain and venture into the real world of physical activity?
Don’t know if I have an answer to this. I know when I was a kid I would take a hand full of golf balls and hit them from the back yard to the furthest fence post fo our three acre farm. I would walk to them with my dog Mandy, and hit them back. I would repeat this for hours, five to seven days a week during the summer. I would also spend hours a day bouncing a tennis ball off of the water-pump house to sharpen my defensive skills for baseball.
I guess for a kid who has never swung a bat, the answer is “Well it is about time you tried it.” Of course, with me, they are swinging a golf club. I guess they gotta put down the controller, or mouse and start
28 Nov 2012
in golf, high school sports, John David Heaton III
Tags: antioch ca, education, golf, roddy ranch, sports
These are some pics Roddy Ranch in Antioch CA.
29 Aug 2012
in bowling, comedy
Tags: armstrong and getty, lance armstrong, sports
Ok, I heard the Armstrong and Getty Show this morning, and one of the host were talking about some book called, and I doubt this is correct”50 Shades….” I don’t know the rest. The guy said that after reading the book, that women were having sex with their partners at least 3 times a week. Well duh! They were too busy reading the book dude!
The other day I had my bowing ball with me as I was walking out after work, and my buddy say’s ” You bowl?” No I responded, this is just my tribute to Lance Armstrong; 1 ball in a bag!”
21 Aug 2012
in bowling, Christian, comedy
Tags: bowling league, bowling pins, keglers, sports
This working during the day gig is tiresome already. I miss the sounds of bowling pins being smashed into the pit! The groans when I leave a split, and the oh yeah when I trow a three-bagger to secure another 200 plus game. I am awaiting my Sunday afternoon league to start, but nothing says “Look at me, I am not working this summer” like a weekday morning bowling league!
Keglers of the world unite!
25 May 2012
in bowling, Christian, comedy, funny, Jesus, jokes
Tags: bowling league, sports, vacation
No, I am not calling anybody names, at least not here. This id my first day of bowling league. Nothing says vacation like bowling on a Friday morning while the rest of the working world is grinding away!