14 May 2013
in big government, Christian, comedy, conservative, dogs, funny, golf, guns, Jesus, John David Heaton III, jokes, puppies
Tags: big-brother, conservative-politics, corruption, education, entertainment, film flam, free-speech, united-states, vacation, washington
I was going to rage against the criminals we have in Washington, and around the country who give us laws to follow, yet make themselves exempt. Then I said, “What the heck!” Why let a bunch of murderers and film flam artist ruin my life?
It is time to keep life simple and fun. Being a God believing man, I know how the whole story shakes out. This world takes a dive into the crapper, and just as it is about to implode our Lord and Saviour steps in and returns this Earth to the Eden God intended it to be. In the mean time, I got some things to do this summer. Bowling! yes, once again I am bowling two summer leagues. My Tuesday league is pretty amazing. Probably due to the simple fact that the average age of almost all of the bowlers is 112. Not really, but there are many who are the back side of 70. Which is awesome, because many of them are good. I guess it is no wonder why I like golf and bowling, other than the simp[le facts that I am not to shabby at either one, and I can participate for most of my life span.
Also got to get some fishing in this summer. I am going to join a small fishing club that my dad belonged to when he was alive. I will have to give it a once over. River banks tend to attract elements of our society that stink more than my favorite catfish bait. If all goes well though, I picture quite a few days if fishing with my two pups; BillWilly and B.W.. I have to get my money out of them, seeing I spent my retirement savings when they became ill this past year.
I also need to work on some road trips. Still want to get back to Laughlin Nevada for some golf and fishing on the Colorado River. I also want to try my hand at gold panning too.
Guess all in all I don’t have time to worry about junk I have no control over, though I sure I will from time to time. It is just nice to know, that whatever the heck is going on around me, I still will be enjoying myself.
21 Mar 2013
in Christian, comedy, conservative, food, funny, Jesus, John David Heaton III
Tags: canned sardines, dinner, education, entertainment, food, free-speech, hot mustard, hot suace, rib eye steak, vacation, vegetarian
I am not quite sure if I have ten favorite eats…maybe less, might be more. But here is a list of stuff I love to fill my boiler with.
Rib-Eye steak from the grill. I don’t even need any side fixins with this chunk of bovine. About 5-7 minutes a side, and let the blood flow when I bite into it.
A-1 Sauce sandwich. Yup, I love the A-1! I can even swig it from the bottle in a hunger frenzy. A couple of slices of toasted wheat bread, and a healthy pour and I am off to the races. It also works great with a king size dinner roll. Just smash a hole into the roll, and fill with the sauce. Good times.
Grilled jalapenos stuffed with Habaneros peppers. This is a Hillbilly staple. Buy the biggest jalapenos you can get, crop the tops, and stuff the Habaneros in. Put in foil, add a copious amount of butter, and grill. This is insanely good, and hot to boot. Will leave you drooling uncontrollably.
Chocolate cake in a bowl of milk. So flippin good that there is nothing left to say but “give me more”!
Oysters; raw or grilled. Just put them in hot suace and get the party started.
Bacon and Mayo sandwich. Got to be on white bread.
Canned sardines in hot mustard sauce.
Cottage cheese mixed with A-1 sauce. Told you I love the A-1.
OK, I just have made myself to darn hungry to carry on. I am going to bust into my lunch pail right now and have some canned Mackeral and Thousand Island Dressing. No, I will not share.
19 Mar 2013
in funny, Jesus, John David Heaton III, jokes, puppies, satire
Tags: animals, entertainment, hillbilly, vacation
The top picture is Bill-Willy, his two siblings, and mother. The second photo is Bill-Willy with his battle scar. This poor little guy looks a lot worse than he feels. But with the promise of catfishing with me, and his brother all summer long, I think he will be just fine.
11 Mar 2013
in Christian, comedy, Jesus, John David Heaton III, jokes
Tags: entertainment, hillbilly, nature, vacation
49 working days til summer vacation. And I can’t wait. Between almost losing my two pups to a virus, and all the budget issues at work, I need some fishing time! Then again, with cost of living rising, and the check decreasing, I just might end up working a part-time summer job.
Question is, who wants to hire a guy like me for a part-time summer job? What employer wants to invest in somebody who will only be working for a few months? Guess I could pick crops, or work for a canary. I bet I would be a popular guy working in the fields of Central Cali:)
28 Feb 2013
in Christian, coaching, comedy, golf, John David Heaton III
Tags: entertainment, religion, sports, vacation, you-cant-make-this-stuff-up
Ever have one of those days when you feel like blogging, but nothing jumps out of your dome and onto the screen? Today is that day for me. I really got nothin’ due to the simple fact I am still staying away from anything political. Don’t worry, I still have crazy amounts of farm stories from my earlier days as little Hillbilly, but I am not digging into it like a tick on a hounds ear!
Maybe it has something to do with the sunny 70 degree weather today, or the fact I am heading out to golf practice in a few short minutes.
21 Feb 2013
in Christian, coaching, comedy, conservative, funny, golf, John David Heaton III
Tags: baseball, current-events, education, entertainment, fence post, free-speech, religion, sports, tennis, usa, vacation
I have heard this response for almost all of my six season of coaching golf. Every season I get golfers who have never picked up a club, so after I show them how to grip the thing, I asked them to swing it like they are hitting a pitched baseball. The title of this thread is almost always the response I get! I am talking never. If I was able to transport myself back to the 1950′s,60′s, 70′s, 80′s, and even as recent as the 90′s, I doubt I would hear this as much as I do. So what the hell happened?
In my un-humble opinion, I am going with video games and the internet as the culprits. As for video games? I have played them since Pong first came onto the scene. Played them through college, and even to this day, I play Tiger Woods’s golf on the Play Station. Thing is, it does not take the place of my physical activities. I had one player a few years back actually tell me he worked on his golf game all weekend long. I was thinking he spent hours at the driving range grinding away. Nope, he told me he played Wii golf! As for the Inter-Net? It is as addictive as any drug and it is virtually free. Kids, as well as adults, are able to create a universe where they are god. Almost any behavior is acceptable, and there is virtually no accountability for any actions. Like being a kid sans parents. So why would kids want to leave their insulated domain and venture into the real world of physical activity?
Don’t know if I have an answer to this. I know when I was a kid I would take a hand full of golf balls and hit them from the back yard to the furthest fence post fo our three acre farm. I would walk to them with my dog Mandy, and hit them back. I would repeat this for hours, five to seven days a week during the summer. I would also spend hours a day bouncing a tennis ball off of the water-pump house to sharpen my defensive skills for baseball.
I guess for a kid who has never swung a bat, the answer is “Well it is about time you tried it.” Of course, with me, they are swinging a golf club. I guess they gotta put down the controller, or mouse and start
19 Feb 2013
in Christian, comedy, Jesus, John David Heaton III
Tags: free-speech, golf balls, golf season, hillbilly, living in california, nature, news, vacation, weather, weekend weather, you-cant-make-this-stuff-up
Just finished another terrific 3-day weekend. Weather was nice; 70 degrees and sunny during the day. One of the few good things about living in California. I decided to hit some golf balls at the range on Monday…and so did nearly a 100 of my good friends! Looks like the weather is going to get cold for the next few days. I guess it is my fault for washing the truck.
So I am starting another week of “political blackout” which is great. I figure if I don’t hear the crap going down, it ain’t there:) I will just focus on my golf season, and my intense love of beer. And hope I don’ get hit by a frigging meteor!
15 Feb 2013
in Christian, comedy, funny, jokes, satire, Uncategorized
Tags: arm pits, current-events, diet pepsi, education, entertainment, free-speech, hillbilly, vacation, you-cant-make-this-stuff-up
Growing up, I was always falling down, or more precisely, off of something. Thank the Lord that He blessed some of us with quick reflexes. I will tell you about one of my best tumbles as a tyke. We had a chicken house on our family’s property. This is a building that had rooms of roughly 15ft by 20 ft. The entire building was more than 300ft long. The structure was built-in the early 40′, so when I was Hillbillying the place up, it was nearly 40 years old. I would climb a tree that overhung the roof, and then leap, like a flying squirrel onto it. I would run the entire length of the coop for unknown reasons. I am guessing I was unknowingly honoring my “Free Beer” running skills.
So one day I am doing this, with my dog Albert following along on the ground, when the roof gave way. I am sure the dog was saying, “DUMBASS”. As dumb Hillbilly luck would have it, my feet landed on a rafter about 5ft below. Seeing that I was already 5ft 7 inches at the time, I sank up to my arm pits. Of course, I had my diet Pepsi in my right hand, and never spilled a lick of it. This is one genetic trait all us Hillbilly, Hicks, and Rednecks share. We fall,tumble, stumble, and rumble, but we never spill our drink, nor do we incur any major injury to our persons:)
09 Aug 2012
in comedy, funny, jokes
Tags: back yard, central cali, summer break, vacation
Well, getting ready to head off to my second day of work. Nothing says welcome back from summer break like triple digit temps! Yup, here in central Cali, we are in for 5 plus days of the wonderful stuff. It is fine when I am piddling around the back yard, but work? YUK!
I will be posting more often in the days to come. That is once I get settled in to the working routine. Only 179 working days til summer vacation!
18 Jul 2012
in bowling, comedy
Tags: hillbilly, nelson burton, usa, vacation
Well it is official, I am now officially hooked on bowling. Yup, two days a week of league bowling ain’t enough. I practice a minimum of 5 games, twice a week. The average is still climbing, but I am still getting beat by eye witnesses of the Civil war! I purchased a new ball that allows me to play a hook. I figured out really fast that all the best players do not throw a straight ball, nor do they use a ball that resembles a house ball. I still have not purchased shoes, mostly due to the fact a love the look of the blue and red rentals.
Out of my last seven-league games, two have been over two hundred, and only one under my current average of 163. My biggest issue, besides still getting my ass kicked by really good players, is picking up the easy spares. Yup, the frickin’ ten pin is harder to hit than a skeeter in the dark. As the bowling announcer; Nelson Burton jr. likes to say”Trust is a must, or your game is a bust.” Oh yeah, the bowling lingo is almost as cool as the golf lingo!
Now with my vacation slipping away faster than a gravy train on biscuit wheels on a Sunday at Ridgeway’s, I am having to look at my work schedule to see what nights I can league bowl. I am also very worried about my spring golf schedule. Looks like it will be a weekend league for this Pin-Headed Hillbilly!