Six Basic Truths

Thanks to antzinpantz for this!

Regardless of what you may hear from your parents or your best friends, and whether you realize it or not, there really are only six basic truths in life

Here is the first one:

1. You cannot stick your tongue out and look up at the ceiling at the same time, a physical impossibility.

The rest are here………

2. All idiots, after reading #1 will try it.

3. And discover #1 is a lie.

4. You are smiling now because you are an idiot.

5. You soon will forward this to another idiot, or perhaps, to many idiots.

6. There is still a stupid smile on your face.

College Football Facts

If you don’t like to laugh, then please don’t read the following:

College Football Facts

(1) What does the average USC player get on his SATs?

(2) What do you get when you put 32 West Virginia cheerleaders in one
…….A full set of teeth.

(3) How do you get a Nebraska cheerleader into your dorm room?
…….Grease her hips and push.

(4) How do you get an Ohio State graduate off your porch?
……..Pay him for the pizza.

(5) How do you know if an Alabama football player has a girlfriend?
……There is tobacco spit on both sides of his pickup.

(6) Why is the Kentucky football team like a possum?
…….Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.

(7) What are the longest three years of a Arizona football player’s
……..His freshman year.

(8) How many Texas A&M freshmen does it take to change a light bulb?
…….None. That’s a sophomore course.

(9) Where was O. J. Headed in the white Bronco?
…… Durham, North Carolina. He knew that the police would never look
for a Heisman Trophy winner at Duke.

(10) How do you keep an UCLA football player out of your front yard?
……….Erect a goal post!

(12) What do they call the 12th player for the Missouri Tigers?
……….Parole Officer

(13) What does the “N” stand for on the Nebraska helmets?

(14) Why did Mississippi State paint their field maroon?
……….So the team would know it was a home game.

AND FINALLY (drum roll and cymbal crash)…

(15) Why did Tennessee choose orange as their team color?
……….You can wear it to the game on Saturday, hunting on Sunday,
and picking up trash along the highways the rest of the week.

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