We love Crack (ers)!

From Jay Jay’s Favorites blog.

We love Crack (ers)!.

Chocolate Caramel Crack(ers)
Adapted from David Lebovitz, who adapted it from Marcy Goldman who is the genius that first applied this to matzo crackers

4 to 6 sheets matzo or approximately 40 Saltine crackers or crackers of your choice
1 cup (2 sticks or 8 ounces) unsalted butter, cut into a few large pieces
1 cup packed light brown sugar
A big pinch of sea salt
1/2 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1 1/2 cups semi- or bittersweet chocolate chips (or chopped bittersweet or semisweet chocolate)
1 cup toasted chopped almonds, pecans, walnuts or a nut of your choice (optional)
Extra sea salt for sprinkling (optional)

Preheat the oven to 350°F. Line an 11-by-17-inch baking sheet with sides (or 11 x 17 jelly roll pan) completely with foil, and then line inside the foil (the base) with parchment paper, cut to fit.

Line the parchment paper with matzo or crackers, covering all parts. [If using matzo, you’ll need to break pieces to fit any extra spaces, which will be annoying because despite being perforated, it does not actually break in straight lines. I have some luck pressing a serrated knife straight down along a section between perforations, if that (hopefully) makes sense.] Note: I use a serrated knife to cut saltines in half, to fit in the end of the pan.

In a medium heavy-duty saucepan, melt the butter and brown sugar together, and stir it over medium heat until it begins to boil. Once it has begun boiling, let it bubble for three more minutes, stirring it well. It will thicken & foam a bit as it cooks. Remove from the heat and add the salt and vanilla, and then quickly pour it over the matzo or crackers. You’ll want to spread it quickly, as it will begin to set as soon as it is poured.

Bake the caramel-covered crackers for 15 minutes, watching carefully as it will bubble and the corners might darken too quickly and/or burn. You can reduce the heat if you see this happening.

Remove from oven and immediately cover with chocolate chips. Let stand five minutes, and then spread them evenly across the caramel. An offset spatula works great here. If you’re using them, sprinkle the chocolate with toasted chopped nuts and/or sea salt. (The sea salt is great on matzo. On Saltines, it’s really not necessary.)

Once completely cool — I sometimes speed this process up in the fridge, impatient as should be expected in the face of caramel crack(ers) — break it into pieces and store it in a container. It should keep for a week but I’ve never seen it last that long.

Boys Wrecking Their Toys

Maybe the guy working the pedals distracted the guy working the steering wheel! LOL! This just proves us guys are knuckleheads no matter where we are from. I think I see a can of Keystone in the background.


Tokyo (CNN) — Eight Ferraris, three Mercedes-Benz cars and a Lamborghini have crashed in a massive — and very expensive — 14-vehicle accident in southwestern Japan.

The wreck took place Sunday on Chugoku Expressway in Shimonoseki, according to Yamaguchi prefectural police. One of the Ferraris skidded and collided into the central divider, setting off a chain-reaction crash.

Police said some of the drivers belonged to a group of luxury car enthusiasts from Kyushu island who had gathered to tour the area together.

Hillbilly Stew: The Proud Military Moms Recipe

Here you go PMM. Can two or more varmint meats be used?

Possums- nasty vile disease carrying pests. My dog kills them on sight. along with woodchucks and the odd raccoon.

One pot campfire (or grill) Hillbilly stew
One pound meat of your choice- chuck steak is my preference- but you could use varmint. Cut into bite sized cubes
Four good sized potatoes
Six carrots
Two onions- more if you like them
Couple of cloves of garlic- more if you like
Flour for dredging
Salt and pepper
bacon grease or other oil or fat
Spices that you like- if you want hot and spicy- add a habanero or two. Or chili powder. I like cumin and chili powder
Salt and pepper the meat. Mix your ground spices with the flour. Dredge meat lightly in flour mixture.
In a sturdy stew pot or dutch oven, heat the fat or oil. Toss the meat in and brown on all sides. Might have to do this in batches- the meat pieces should not be crowded in the bottom of the pan.
Once all the meat is nicely browned- add onions and garlic- and peppers if you are using them- cook until onions are translucent. Do not burn garlic! Add liquid to just cover the meat. You can use water, stock- or for a really dark and rich gravy- use a dark beer. Bring to a simmer- DO NOT boil. (makes the meat tough) Cover and allow to simmer slowly- for about an hour.
While meat is simmering, prepare carrots and potatoes. After an hour check the meat with a fork- if it is coming on to tender, add the carrots. After 15 minutes add the potatoes. Continue simmering until vegetables are fork tender.
I serve this with biscuits- but that is another lesson.

A Hillbilly’s Christmas List: Most Of This Stuff Is Yet To Be Invented

There is probably a very good reason these product are not around. I will let you be the judge.

Brown, reversible underwear. Tell me this does not solve almost all of the issues that arise come laundry time.
A belt buckle with a can/bottle opener on the back. This does exist because the hillbilly had one as a kid. I would come home from school, grab a bottle of pop, some cookies, and head out to the field with my dog, and sit under the tree. This was before the twist off bottles. Me and the dog would share swigs, and cookies, and for dessert I usually had a Blo-Pop that we would also share. I never thought about the pup getting cavities until now.

Three rolls of duct tape. Hey, this needs no “splain” Lucy. This stuff can be used by plumbers, and gut surgeons. From astronauts to wrecking yard workers. If Duct Tape was president, the country would be shits and giggles, and full of free beer.

Jeans with extra material around the inside crotch area. Because no matter how us guys wiggle, and dance, shake, and pull, the trouser trout always becomes a sharp shooter with the last drop. Then we are stuck trying to find a way to dry the spot before leaving the pee-shack.

Lastly, I want an enclosed, refrigerated beer holder in my truck. I hate when I have a beer riding commando with me, and I get stuck in traffic. He can’t go back to the cooler, because once they make the major league, it is against the beer code to demote. So this product would plug into the lighter, something that newer fancy horseless buggies either don’t have, or are used to charge something owned by metro-non-sexual dudes.

Ok, this is my list for now, but it is nowhere near complete. I still have 10 days before Santa-Billy stumbles down the chute, for his pork rinds and Keystone.

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