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allaboutlemon-All Around, In, And Out Of My Own Universe

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America

Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as

‘HILLBILLIES.’

You must now refer to them as

APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS .

And furthermore

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not a ‘BABE’ or a ‘CHICK’ – She is a
‘ BREASTED AMERICAN. ‘

2. She is not ‘EASY’ – She is

‘HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.’

3. She is not a ‘DUMB BLONDE’ – She is a

‘LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY..’

4. She has not ‘BEEN AROUND’ – She is a

‘PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.’

5. She does not ‘NAG’ you – She becomes

‘ VERBALLY REPETITIVE.’

6. She is not a ‘TWO-BIT HOOKER’ – She is a

‘ LOW COST PROVIDER.’

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1.. He does not have a ‘BEER GUT’ – He has developed a

‘LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.’

2.. He…

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World Music - the Music Journey

Ricky Nelson, born in 1940 and already died in 1985, was an US-american folk, pop and country singer. Here’s his great song “Garden Party“:

This was a Music-Suggestion from Kenton, thanks!

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“Thrillbilly” Life

One of the pluses working for a school district is the vast amounts of time I have away from the job. While I might not earn as much as I could in the private sector, the time off is like winning the Super Lotto every week. This allows for what I call “Thrillbilly” time. I can’t remember when I first heard the term, but it fits in so well with what I do.

What I do? This reminds me of a scene from Seinfeld where Kramer answers a question about what he does for work. Kramer says, ” It is what I do”, and Jerry responds “but you don’t do anything.” See, guys like me are doing something, when it actually appears we are doing very little, to nothing at all. While it might look to the untrained eye that I am sitting in my lawn chair drinking beer, and staring at the backyard, I am actually mediating with cans of treated Colorado spring water that helps induce the proper state of mind for the ultimate lawn tractor operating experience. Tell me that this activity does not rank a “10” on the excitement meter!

Ok, if you thought the above activity was not “Thrillbilling” enough for ya, check out this wheels over the edge, deuce dropping in your britches fun pastime. I love going to the golf practice range, and placing three golf ball on the putting grees, and sinking 20 putts in a row from 5 feet. No, I am not O.C.D.! and I am sure this sounds like a negative 10 on the ol’ Thrillbilly meter, but you are mistaken. Let me sum it up this way: The worst day of golf/Thrillbillying is beats the best day of work.

I have been doing out of control stuff like this ever since I was a Wee-billy. I loved spending hours on the farm sitting under the English walnut tree with a cold sop, a couple of Blo-Pop suckers, and my dog. We would take turns liking the suckers and see who could resist biting it first. I usually caved before the dog: Tina.

Also, during the summer, we irrigated the property every other Saturday. This allowed for one of the greatest Thrillbilly moments: Cow Patty Surfing. The way this works is the water would cover the field with about a 6-inches of water. I would get a running start, as I got close enough to my target I would jump on to it, and with any luck would slide for several feet, depending on the size, and texture of said patty! Talk about over the top fun. This was the X-Games before there were any X-games.

Maybe I will write about some other activities I enjoyed during my Hillbilly developmental years. Shallow Canal Driving and Chicken House Roof Racing are just a couple that come to mind.:)