Gravity And The Hillbilly: Gravity Hurts

Growing up, I was always falling down, or more precisely, off of something. Thank the Lord that He blessed some of us with quick reflexes. I will tell you about one of my best tumbles as a tyke. We had a chicken house on our family’s property. This is a building that had rooms of roughly 15ft by 20 ft. The entire building was more than 300ft long. The structure was built-in the early 40′, so when I was Hillbillying the place up, it was nearly 40 years old. I would climb a tree that overhung the roof, and then leap, like a flying squirrel onto it. I would run the entire length of the coop for unknown reasons. I am guessing I was unknowingly honoring my “Free Beer” running skills.

So one day I am doing this, with my dog Albert following along on the ground, when the roof gave way. I am sure the dog was saying, “DUMBASS”. As dumb Hillbilly luck would have it, my feet landed on a rafter about 5ft below. Seeing that I was already 5ft 7 inches at the time, I sank up to my arm pits. Of course, I had my diet Pepsi in my right hand, and never spilled a lick of it. This is one genetic trait all us Hillbilly, Hicks, and Rednecks share. We fall,tumble, stumble, and rumble, but we never spill our drink, nor do we incur any major injury to our persons:)

6 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. TeachX3
    Feb 15, 2013 @ 13:53:01

    HAHA! Sounds a bit like me, when I was kid… my cousins and I played ‘bionic man and woman’, jumping off the roofs of the barns. Higher up we’d go, the more fearless we became, the more cuts and bruises we would have LOL . Now a days, if I stub my toe, I’m bedridden for days. (not really, but dang, it feels like it sometimes!) 😀


    • The Conservative Hill Billy
      Feb 15, 2013 @ 14:19:38

      Just last winter, at age 47, I scaled, and jumped off of a 12ft fence. This is why us Hillbillys must stay in shape. 🙂 Of course, beer was inviolved.


      • TeachX3
        Feb 15, 2013 @ 14:30:09

        ah, the magical properties of beer. So, how did you feel the next couple days after? HAHAHA My husband gave me a 40th bday party (um, about 6 years ago 😉 ) and we were having a few beers. My baby brother, had one too many and I was picking on him, so he started chasing me. Ended up jumping me from behind, I rolled about 5 full rolls and we landed in a pile of twisted arms and legs. OMGosh, if I had not had a couple in me, I would of been crying! HAHAHAHA and I *was* the next day!

      • The Conservative Hill Billy
        Feb 15, 2013 @ 14:32:40

        Felt fine. I do spend 4-5 days in the gym per week. I figure I will dial it back around 70! The gym, not the beer. Oh, and one too many is a falacy 🙂

  2. whiteladyinthehood
    Feb 15, 2013 @ 16:26:02

    Great story!


  3. twoscamps
    Feb 19, 2013 @ 09:41:38

    OMG – that was funny!


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