Gravity And The Hillbilly: Gravity Hurts

Growing up, I was always falling down, or more precisely, off of something. Thank the Lord that He blessed some of us with quick reflexes. I will tell you about one of my best tumbles as a tyke. We had a chicken house on our family’s property. This is a building that had rooms of roughly 15ft by 20 ft. The entire building was more than 300ft long. The structure was built-in the early 40′, so when I was Hillbillying the place up, it was nearly 40 years old. I would climb a tree that overhung the roof, and then leap, like a flying squirrel onto it. I would run the entire length of the coop for unknown reasons. I am guessing I was unknowingly honoring my “Free Beer” running skills.

So one day I am doing this, with my dog Albert following along on the ground, when the roof gave way. I am sure the dog was saying, “DUMBASS”. As dumb Hillbilly luck would have it, my feet landed on a rafter about 5ft below. Seeing that I was already 5ft 7 inches at the time, I sank up to my arm pits. Of course, I had my diet Pepsi in my right hand, and never spilled a lick of it. This is one genetic trait all us Hillbilly, Hicks, and Rednecks share. We fall,tumble, stumble, and rumble, but we never spill our drink, nor do we incur any major injury to our persons:)