Hello Mr. Obvious Here

Ok, I heard the Armstrong and Getty Show this morning, and one of the host were talking about some book called, and I doubt this is correct”50 Shades….” I don’t know the rest. The guy said that after reading the book, that women were having sex with their partners at least 3 times a week. Well duh! They were too busy reading the book dude!

The other day I had my bowing ball with me as I was walking out after work, and my buddy say’s ” You bowl?” No I responded, this is just my tribute to Lance Armstrong; 1 ball in a bag!”

I Miss My Bowling Leagues!

This working during the day gig is tiresome already. I miss the sounds of bowling pins being smashed into the pit! The groans when I leave a split, and the oh yeah when I trow a three-bagger to secure another 200 plus game. I am awaiting my Sunday afternoon league to start, but nothing says “Look at me, I am not working this summer” like a weekday morning bowling league!
Keglers of the world unite!

Pin-Head The Bowling Addiction Begins

Well it is official, I am now officially hooked on bowling. Yup, two days a week of league bowling ain’t enough. I practice a minimum of 5 games, twice a week. The average is still climbing, but I am still getting beat by eye witnesses of the Civil war! I purchased a new ball that allows me to play a hook. I figured out really fast that all the best players do not throw a straight ball, nor do they use a ball that resembles a house ball. I still have not purchased shoes, mostly due to the fact a love the look of the blue and red rentals.

Out of my last seven-league games, two have been over two hundred, and only one under my current average of 163. My biggest issue, besides still getting my ass kicked by really good players, is picking up the easy spares. Yup, the frickin’ ten pin is harder to hit than a skeeter in the dark. As the bowling announcer; Nelson Burton jr. likes to say”Trust is a must, or your game is a bust.” Oh yeah, the bowling lingo is almost as cool as the golf lingo!

Now with my vacation slipping away faster than a gravy train on biscuit wheels on a Sunday at Ridgeway’s, I am having to look at my work schedule to see what nights I can league bowl. I am also very worried about my spring golf schedule. Looks like it will be a weekend league for this Pin-Headed Hillbilly!

Whack-A-Hillbilly

Yup, just popping up from my summer of fun, beer and bowling. I have been a blogging junkie for many years now, but I am happy to know that I can put the keyboard down, take off the tin foil lid, and still have a great time. Bowling average has gone from 125 to 170. Rolled my first 200 league game today, and now am headed to Marcella’s for some 32 ounces of Colorado gold!
Don’t worry, work starts back up on August 7th, so that means I will return to my Hillbilly blogging ways. Since I am also taking a break from following politics, has Barry Hussein choked on a pretzel yet?

God Bless
John D. Heaton III

Hillbilly’s Hiatus

Yup, I am on a serious hiatus here. every summer since 02 I have spent many a day writing, and re-posting articles here. Well, this summer I have made it a point to step back from all of my blogging, and surfing of the net. I have also tuned out of politics of all levels too. Yes, I saw what that puke John Roberts did. I say drug test him. Forced federal health care is unconstitutional and almost all Americans know it. But for now, D.C. and all of the elected filth can kiss my ass, cause I am deep into vacation mode. Got the bowling average over 160…I stated at 120! Hitting the gym hard and proving father time can be put on hold.

So I apologize to all my friends here, for me not being around, but this Hillbilly needs some major down time this summer.
God Bless y’all.
John D. Heaton III

I Am Back!

But not for long! The vacation is kicking in to high gear, and I am up to the challenge. I have also been taking a break from politics. I catch a quick glance here and there, but I ain’t letting any jack ass politician, president, gubbenr, ect… mess with my VACA!

So for the next week or two I will pop up here for a brief note or two. But for now, between the two bowling leagues, free bowling, golf, gym, and fishing, the Hillbilly is a very busy man.
God Bless

The Invisible Hillbilly

I have not been around much the last few days. Too much vacationing going on! From bbq’s to golf, there has not been anytime left over for a bit of blogging. How ever, it is overcast today, and the rain is starting to come down. So looks like a will get a bit of a break from the daily grind of not working.:)

Just A “Quickie” Post

The allure of vacation has a way of shortening a Hillbilly’s post. So here I go with today’s agenda. Pick up ginormous pay check; Well, it is for me due to the stipends! Go to bank and deposit said check, and begin the process of wealth redistribution with the local power company and my brother the landlord. Workout at the gym, and then off to the driving range to keep the golf skills sharp. Then off to the bowling alley to build some skills so I can eventually work on keeping them sharp. Lunch, a bit of yard work, and hit happy hour by 4pm.

Yup, just another grinding day at the office:)

Triples Senior Tuesdays

Yup, that is the name of the league that I bowl in every Tuesday. Who cares that I am not a senior! I am starting to see a lot of similarities to golf. Really friendly folks, and players of all skill levels competing against each other. Of course, this is done by handicapping. Since I am new, I am spotted a number of pins. Actually, quite a few. Seeing that I have never bowled in a league, some players are giving me a bit of the stank eye do to a few of my scores. I rolled a 186, 174, and a 112 Tuesday. Now the 112 is a score that most beginners roll. It was my last game, and the oil on the lanes changed, and I threw a ton of splits that I was not able to pick up. The first two scores are on par with the better bowlers in the league. Who, of course, have been bowling for years. Hence, the stank eyes!

Now that I am getting in to this sport. Yes, it is a sport. I am going to work at it, just like I do golf. It is something about having to be competitive, and good, at any sport I pursue. It is not that I want to say that I am better than everyone else, it is that I want to win, or lose, on my own, and not with a handicap. I don’t want help. I guess it is just like I don’t want any handouts from the federal government. I don’t need a nanny to care for me. Probably this is why I hate Affirmative Action. It tells people that they can’t do things with out help from the government. It enslaves them mentally.

Dang, and here I thought I was just going to ramble about bowling!

Lazy Hillbilly Dazed In Summer

Dazed but not confused! My first full weekend of summer. Most all of it has been great. I have been living in my current hood for a year now and I have learned one thing: This place is full of jackasses who do not have any right owning pets. specifically cats. Just this weekend I have found three orphaned kitties who are no more than four weeks old. This was preceded by another ass wipe who dumped off a very friendly, and very pregnant cat, who is less than 12 months old. So now I have two tiny kittens, and one young mom hanging in my t.v. room until I can find them a home. I was able to take the 3 orphans to my vet’s office where they will care for them till a home is found. The lady told me the three kittens brought the day’s total to 10, and it was only 1pm on a Saturday!

I am also a bit sad because Amos, the street thug cat that I took in, had fixed, and fattened up has been missing for four days. I have a pretty good idea he was trapped. and relocated to a field by somebody in the neighborhood. I know there is a huge problem with feral cats around here. The smell, and the fleas are a problem for some. Thing is, people should know the difference between a feral cat, and someone’s pet. More than likely they don’t care. But it is a pretty crappy deal to lose a pet, and not know if they are safe. I know Amos can survive anywhere, so that is giving me some comfort.

Now for some happy tales. Got my fishing license this past Saturday, and I make my first appearance on my mixed senior bowling league Tuesday morning. If it is half as much fun as my senior guy’s only league on Fridays, it will be a real hoot! The only downside tho morning leagues, is the fact the bars are not open 🙂

This Thursday is also pay-day for the Hillbilly. The best part of this check is the fact it contains my coaching stipends. This turns my ten month job into a twelve plus paid job. The extra cash allows for this Hillbilly to buy some of the coldest beer, and best raw meat around. Not to mention many rounds of golf, and plenty of hours of fishing. Maybe I should call it a vacation stipend? Either way, summer is not made for working. I figured this out somewhere around, um, I would say Kindergarten. At age 47, I can honestly say I have never worked full-time during any summer. Don’t get me wrong, I worked various part-time jobs over the summer months, but never an eight to five grinder.