10 Or So Of My Not So Favorite Eats

I am not even sure that there are 10 things I don’t like, but here are the ones that jump into my dome:
Sweet potatoes. Can’t stand them in any way, shape or form.

Ham, yup, I do not like ham. It is the only pork product I don’t like. Give me pickled feet, ears, and the almighty BACON anytime.

SPAM: Don’t know the food group, or what animal this stuff comes from, but eating food that looks like somebody else chewed it ain’t my mug of beer.

Humus: What the heck is this junk? Had it the other day on a cracker. Yuk, rather like the bottom of a diary man’s boot on a rainy day.

Pumpkin: Sweet potato’s rancid cousin!

OK, this is enough for now. I was preparing for lunch but now I think I will have to wait a few minutes to settle my gut worm down:)

BTW, feel free to give me any recipes that make any of the above likable by this Hillbilly…without a case of beer!

Give Me Food! Who Does Not Love The “Man vs. Food” Show?

I think it is the Travel Channel that airs Man vs Food, and now called Man vs. Food Nation. I like to see how different places throughout America shovels up their grub. My favorite shows have the host, Adam Richmond, attempting a “hotter than heck” food challenge. Reason being, is that there is not a dish on the planet that is so hot, that this Hillbilly can’t eat it.

Yeah, I hear it all the time from some of my pals. “You would never be able to handle the infamous Ghost Pepper.” Of course, these are the same chuckle heads that bet me I could not eat 5 fresh Habanero peppers. That earned me a week’s supply of Keystone Light:)

So, back to the show. I was thinking that somebody should go into business making the various meals shown on this show. If you have not seen the show, here is a glimpse:

Glad The Hillbilly Grew Up Pre-I.I.!

Earlier, I was sitting around shooting the breeze with a buddy who is a year older than me, and graduated from the same high school. While he is more of a “metro-billy,’ we still share many hard-core right values and beliefs. We were discussing the pit falls of, what I call, ” I.I. or “Instant Info.” Especially as it relates to the easy access of porn.

When we were in jr and sr high, we always joked about how we stayed up late the night before to watch Benny Hill in hopes of catching a quick view of a lady’s fun-bags. Sometimes we hit the jack pot when and old copy of Playboy was found in the school’s parking lot. My, how times have changed. Kids getting caught during the school day viewing porn on their phones. I don’t even want to think about what these kids say on social media sites, or what they do with pictures of themselves. Why I am no supporter of Islam, I can understand why many of theses Muslims consider our nation the great Satan.

I am so grateful to The Lord that this garbage was controlled during my youth. Yeah, there were the Adult Theaters, but they were always on the bad side of town, and the patrons kept a low profile. Now days, the theaters are in pockets and purses. The predatory pedophiles roam the net, and the streets, almost unnoticed.

I person can spend a lifetime trying to explain how this has ripped apart, and destroyed the moral fabric of our nation. But It will not change the fact that kids are under assault from this crap. I.I. has its pit falls. I feel sorry that many kids are not given the chance to be kids for a much longer period of time. So here is a big thanks to I.I., and the folks who abuse such a wonderful tool.

As always, God was right: There will be a time when Good is called Evil, and Evil is seen as Good. I sure miss my Atari and Pac-Man game days:(

Trials And Tribulations Of Being A Puppy Named Bill-Willy

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The top picture is Bill-Willy, his two siblings, and mother. The second photo is Bill-Willy with his battle scar. This poor little guy looks a lot worse than he feels. But with the promise of catfishing with me, and his brother all summer long, I think he will be just fine.

Recent Observations By The Hillbilly

I just have to share a couple of classic, and hilarious things I have witnessed in the past few days. Thankfully, none of them are involve me, beer, and mud. So here they are:

Meth Head Broad riding a multiple speed bike, in first gear peddling a hundred miles wearing sweat pants, tank top, and no shoes. Oh, and she was riding down an overpass, so top speed was about 30 mph. In tweaker miles, it was a 108 mph!

Yellow hat, bright orange shirt, shorts, and shoes. This is what a guy was wearing yesterday on the driving range at the golf course. A couple of thoughts here: Gramps realizes he is of the age he can wear, and do anything he pleases. Two: He is in the California Department of Transportation Hall of Fame. ( These workers wear bright orange uniforms for those of you who are not living in Cali.) Three; he has been so emasculated that his wife now dresses him from head to toe. Thing is, Neon Gramps could pound whitey pretty good. He has a decent swing, so us fellow golfers won’t give him the business about his duds, just give him grief over the fact his wife does not allow him to wear his testicles anymore.

Cain And Able: B.W. And BillWilly

Unflippin believable!, just a few days after getting my boys home from the extended vet visit, the “Fight” lands BillWilly back in the hospital. No, BillWilly, all 10 pounds of him, was not fighting off intruders, no was he attacked by a rabid postman. Nope, that would be fine, but he picks a fight with B.W., and gets torn up. Really, torn up! B.W. tore his fur from his muscle! A perfect “V” shape of now flapping fur and skin hanging off of BillWilly’s front shoulder. As soon as I sent a photo to Dr. Rob via cellphone, yes, us 80’s guys are pretty tech savvy, he said to bring him in to get stitched up. Great, more of my money being spent on these boys.

It all started over them jockeying for seat position next to me during our weekend beer and bbq bash in the backyard. I was able to break that one up, without spilling my beer mind you. This past Monday, while lying on the floor watching Man vs Food, The Brother’s Brawl began. BillWilly started it by growling at B.W. over cushion position. It is always first come first serve, and if you move you lose. Well, BillWilly was giving B.W. the business because he felt B.W. was too close to his spot. B.W. was having none of this mess, and the brawl was on. By the time I pried B.W.’s choppers off of BillWilly, the damage was done. B.W. was spitting fur, and BillWilly was gushing blood. It was kind of “country music songesque”. All my years at my current occupation, and my college years bouncing, this fight ranks right up there with the best and messiest of them all.

So as I write this, BillWilly is laying in the hospital awaiting the surgical skills of D. Rob to patch him up. There ain’t a doubt in my dome, that he will be coming home and wearing the darn “Doggie Cone.” That stupid inverted lampshade that keeps a pup from licking their wounds. I think I need to wear one to keep me from licking my back pocket where I keep my money, because my bank account is about to flat-line:)

T Minus 49 And Counting

49 working days til summer vacation. And I can’t wait. Between almost losing my two pups to a virus, and all the budget issues at work, I need some fishing time! Then again, with cost of living rising, and the check decreasing, I just might end up working a part-time summer job.

Question is, who wants to hire a guy like me for a part-time summer job? What employer wants to invest in somebody who will only be working for a few months? Guess I could pick crops, or work for a canary. I bet I would be a popular guy working in the fields of Central Cali:)

The Boys Are Back

I walked through the door last night after my team’s golf match, and I saw a little slice of heaven, more like a little guy named Bill-Willy who is on the mend. Poor mutt, down a few pounds off of his bulging 9 pound frame. Front legs shaved like a poodle where the I.V.’s had been. But he looked perfect in my Hillbilly eyes. I can tell the mean ol’ virus is gone, and my boy is back, though he is still weak and very sore. His tail wags, a bit slow, but it wags. He, like his bro and sis are lickers, and he was handing out some lovin! He also indulged in a few bites of his favorite dog food: OL’Roy. Though he had his choice of roasted chicken and steamed rice. Sounds like his dad: Don’t feed me crap that I have to wear a tie, and choose the correct fork to use. Give me a slab of bovine, some peanuts, and a cooler full of beer-luv!

Looks as though I can finally relax a bit now. I feel the old Hillbilly words of wisdom, or B.S., depending how you look at em’, returning.So good in fact, I am like a three balled dog with a honey coated tongue!

Thanks to everyone who dropped a word to the Big Guy upstairs, or thought happy thoughts for my boys. The Hillbilly loves ya’ and will drink a beer to each, and every one of ya, probably all in the same sitting:)

The Call

Not talking about the 80’s band, but rather the phone call I am praying for from my vet. Like I postewd earlier, if the boys are able to keep the grub in their boilers, they are going to be sent home. I have not seen them since Sunday, 3:30pm. It is now Wednesday, so by the time I travel to pick them up, it will have been 72 hours of no B.W. and Bill-Willy. Since I helped deliver them on August 17th, 2012, I have seen them every day. This remeinded me of the fact that when my father was alive, I never went more than two weeks without seeing him, and he died when I was 31 years old. I guess one could say I need to get out and travel more, but most of the greatest things in my life are very near to my back yard and ice chest.

Settle down folks, you know if I mention a band, I am going to post a video 🙂 My question is: Where are the plugging their equipment in at? This really is green energy.

Still In Blackout Mode And Norma My Pet Chicken

No, no, no, I am not making another beer reference…yet! I am talking about my political news black out. It is an amazing fact that life is quite fun when I dumb myself down. It allows my very high functioning CPU to work on other things. Like spending more time outdoors with the dogs in the backyard. Getting my fishing gear in order for this summer; watch out catfish, the Hillbilly is coming for ya! Cleaning out the garage, though there ain’t much to move other than the dust. I have also spent many an hour watching my james Bond Marathon Theatre, seeing I have all the movies.

I also find I steer clear of political topics in conversations I have with my beer drinking pals down at the watering hole. More time to discuss sports, food, beer and such. It is, and has been a nice break, and one I think I am going to continue for bit longer. There is one draw back to this Blackout of mine: I really miss pissing off people, well the ones I meet for the first time.

OK, now for a Hillbilly Moment. Growing up on the farm, I always had plenty of animals, especially chickens. During the spring, it was not uncommon to have 20-30 baby chicks hatch. Sometimes, there would be a chick that was a slacker. So I always checked the pile of un-hatched eggs to make sure everyone who was alive, made it out. I can remember th foul, bitter smell of the rotten egg! I used to chuck the un-exploded ones like a grenade against the rabbit barn. I could always tell which had a bird by gently shaking the egg. These I would crack and peel slowly, sometimes having to put them in a bowl, to dry the chick out in the sun. After a few hours, they would pop to life and join the rest in the brood. But there was one that, for some reason, a piece of the shell stuck to her little leg. I must have tugged a bit too hard, and broke her leg. I went and retrieved a tooth pick and some duct tape so I could make a splint

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