Ya hear so many folks talking about their bucket list. From traversing the globe, running with the bulls, ( or in San Fransisco running with the Bull Dykes!), sky diving, or riding a bike across America. Folks have stuff they want to do before they sleep with the worms. Of course, sometimes the Bucket List advances the onset of death. So I figure I would take a different vantage point: The Anti-Bucket List. Crap you want to never do….unintentionally, in private, or in public for that matter. So in no particular order,probably not related to the thread’s title, and seeing that I have extreme ADD and could not place it in any type of logical order anyway!
Being short of breath while tying your shoes…then asking yourself why you don’t have slip on shoes?
Trying to impress a lady 20 years your junior with lines like, ” If your dad has a problem with us dating, I will just trash-can him like I did when we went to high school.” or “You are Cyndi Lauper hot!”
Entering into a Bingo tournament to meet single women.
Eating your meal out of the frying pan so you don’t have to do the dishes.
Dressing in the latest Urban Wear gear when going anywhere.( This only applies to non-black folks.)
Reading “Michael Savage’s” books in Starbuck’s trying to provoke a liberal into a verbal confrontation. This really works, but it stops the liberal babes from talking to you….This is also known as speed dating.
Buying a three-wheeled bicycle with a rear basket so you can peddle around with a cooler of coolies.
Installing handrails in your shower,and next to the crapper.
Dressing up as Matlock for Halloween and nobody noticing it is a costume.
Buying a case of Depends for Super Bowl Sunday because you don’t want to miss the 18 hours of coverage and commercials.
Buying 10 more cases of Depends because it is conducive to a beer drinking, laid backed life style you have always aspired to have!
theconservativehillbilly 
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