Why Me Lord?

Why am I always stuck in a grocery line behind the person who has one item, but that item has no price, and it is the last one?

Why do I always get the person at the DMV that has all the answers, but they are not the right ones?

Why do I always find the vending machine that will not take the new quarters?

Why do I always order a draft beer, just as the keg runs out, the bartender is always unable to replace it in a timely manner?

Why do I always think I have picked up all the dog poop in the yard, just as I step in a steamy pile?

Why do my dogs always have to drop a deuce right after I finish mowing the lawn?

Why do I always spill food on my white clothing, and not the black stuff?

Why do I always think I can eat before I go to the dentist, and not have food stuck in my choppers?

Why do I always feel the need to write about stuff that has no bearing on the betterment of the universe?

Chappin’ My Hide!

Ok, Rantbilly in the barn! Why does vending machine dude put a diet Pepsi in the Diet Cherry Pepsi slot? Why does gas station guy not put soap in the window wash water? Why does piglet guy pee on the staff’s bathroom toilet seat? Why do the new style quarters not work in most vending machines? Why do public libraries smell like sweating bums?

OK, I am better now!

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